A New Book, Same Result

Now I am reading So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore? (Thanks Chuck) This is not what I would usually consider my cup of tea...fiction and, without giving anything out, just not my thing. But this has really gripped me thus far (only 2 chapters in). Kinda obviously by the title, it is about being disillusioned/fed up with Church. Which I think we all hit from time to time (or seemingly live there). But what gets me is how many people get turned off, disillusioned, go away, then end up coming back. This tells me there must be something to church, and I think it must be the community of it. The collection be believers. We do not do a great job of this even at COMMUNITY Church. We bicker, fight, moan, argue, gossip, and beat each other up more than we do anything else. We make a list of things to discuss and reflect on changing or adjusting...and we make this list because we all know something is missing...and it is easy to see the tangible, and even easier to give "solutions" to those things...but aren't we really missing something bigger? But how do you put it into words...without being accusitory...without a hard and fast solution...how do you bare the soul, the rotten, dirty underbelly of what is going on? But the question should be how do we not? Sure it will hurt and it will be embarassing to see we are lost, but God loved us when we were lost once, and He loves us now. He fought for us then, and He is fighting for us now, but we are too busy talking about lights and music and meetings instead of GOD and LOVE and COMMUNITY and HOPE.

I got to go to HEAVY and LIGHT presented by TWLOHA the other night. TWLOHA is about creating community, getting people entangled in each other, immersing ourselves in others, and in that we find out so much more about ourselves. I got to go to this presentation with part of my community, my teammates, and we go to talk and laugh and play games and get upset about not getting better places to stand (that one was probably just me). I enjoyed the ride as much as the concert, because we were in community, nothing life changing happened, but we talked and in just talking we grew together. And we aren't even close to being "there" we are just scratching the surface, but I love that I have community.

I have been to a dark place before, I have been up to my eyes in it, I have been exposed in it (not coming clean, but exposed), and the only thing that got me out was the love of the greatest woman I have ever known, and the community I was able to get involved in. Which was basically me and one other guy. It takes a lot for me to get there, I don't like to be open...to let you know what I am thinking...to take off my armor...to show my weakness, my scars, my stories...because if you see those, what do I have left, what if you tell others, what if you expose me, what if you make fun of me, what if you label me...or what if you leave me. I can handle people not liking my "persona" because it is not the real me, but could I handle you not liking me...the REAL ME?

This brings me back to the opening about church...it is not perfect, we screw it up more times than not, but it is community. No matter how strong or weak that community is, it is there (and if it isn't there for you, find another community to immerse yourself in) People start churches out of a need for community that grows into a church, then they deal with the same hassles that go on in most churches, and in some ways lose the community. And maybe the "home church" concept is the answer, but then what about growing and reaching? They all have their issues, the church is MY answer, and Community Church is my community, and I am going to make it and people in it my community, I am going to stregthen that community, I may not know everyone, be in community with everyone who shows up, but I can help them find a community in our doors (and if they can't I would love to help them find a community outside our doors).

Not sure if I made any sense, but there are many days I don't want to go to church anymore...but I will go and I will try to make the church into something I do want to go to

Isaac